We've been deceived, disappointed, discouraged, and hung out to dry, but we're still in the process, staying motivated, and hoping to match soon 💜 thankful we found a respectable agency, unlike our last (adoption star), to help us through this process. To those reading this... Hang in there. It can be a rough trail for all parties to travel, this is for sure. 💜 

Enjoying each others company playing Nintendo and hanging out in NYC without any of the white stuff! Hoping to connect soon with an expecting mom/family as we approach the three-year waiting mark <3 

We were passed over just last week and it's always sad we don't get more of a chance to connect with these families with a note versus just our book and video <3

Ringing in the new year in style <3 sending u best wishes for a fresh start in 2023 <3

We had so much fun celebrating with a night out on the town at a show and dinner at Little Spain 🇪🇸 

We found these awesome things in Instagram world and they actually delivered haha stick on the walls! What an amazing invention! Yay for our cool cousins of Japanese Breakfast. Now immortalized on our wall for all time.  

it's that time of year where u feel guilty for buying apples at the store and not from an orchard. Flashing back to halloween in Japan at the scary themed restaurant!

When we finally match again, I will not miss the blog wars. Some families insist on posting here numerous times in a row, hiding and silencing any other families attempting to get exposure. 

Wouldn't it be nice if all the blog posts just circulated on a carousel an even amount for each family, so all families could have a chance? I find I look back and it's a constant battle for the top nine slots. 

I will not miss this! LOL

Spooky season is upon us and we are having fun watching hocus pocus and enjoying the decorations around the city. 

We use food to cheer us up and pizza night is Friday after a long week. Can't wait. 

Tom got stuck in his hoodie with a bum zipper. Chapstick to the rescue! Grease up the zipper and try to glide it down. Kim hack/life hack! Ur welcome!

So much good food in this city.  Loved mini golfing this week with my bestie :) Tom :) 

Yes, please! Big fun at the nine hole indoor golf party that is swingers nyc! I even got a free game on the last hole. 

We loved the Philly exhibit!!! Tom's griffindor and I'm ravenclaw. ❤️

We love going home for the weekend to escape the city. Enjoy green spaces. And see a few puppies hehehe 

Cause that fall air is here!

Sometimes in this process you feel like you're talking to yourself. It's been a wild ride, and tomorrow is our first IN PERSON home study with our social worker who has supported us through the worst of times. Wacky COVID world!

We miss our days of international travel, but we sure love home 🏡  

And although we've waited for two years and had a failed match, we still find so many moments to treasure. 

And not just the best book cause she married my cousin 😂 literally, such a good read, as long as u have a box of tissues ready!

With ur library card in NYC, u get free access to tons of museums. We've been having fun taking advantage of this on the weekends :) 

We had the best month off ever. Tom had a sabbatical from work and we had nothing but fun, it seemed :)

We are up for some casino fun and broadway lotto fun this week hehe can't wait to see if we win! 

I'm still writing about summer cause it's great weather and we have more time!!! We are not halloweening just yet! 

We crashed Brown University family weekend haha and it was fun! They didn't mind having us. We were nice guests. 

We are loving taking local trips this year since we are putting our adoption journey first and foremost. So much to explore in your backyard <3

Some are counting down to pumpkin spice, but we're taking it one day at a time. 

We are having a ball living it up in the city and taking advantage of all the things we put off during COVID. loved paradise square the most, but this was a great watch as well. 

Can't stop the roof partying until they make us. Shockingly, Tom dances more than I do even though I'm the actual "dancer" LOL

We re-met at our high school reunion, and so lucky we did ❤️

We took the full tour of where we grew up. Can't believe our paths crossed so many times before we found each other.  

We're obsessed with the newest addition!!!  

We grew up going to the Jersey shore, but we just had our first experience in the Hamptons. It was full of food and fun! But I think we're Jersey shore at heart <3 hehe but we may need to drive back for that brownie pudding. 

Time for some fun in the sun via a few lobster rolls hehe

I was listening to a Pink Floyd song and that's how this blog started to feel to me. Haha we are so hoping to connect with someone who is looking for an open adoption <3 and this seems like the perfect place to do it... I wonder who's actually out there reading this or if the agency is going to work out for us better. so many questions, and once again, it comes down to loving every moment we're on the planet and breathing... everything comes with time <3

Heat wave here in the city means trips to places with pools; lots of AC, movies and fun indoors :) we chose to escape the heat this week at this nifty exhibit downtown, but the highlight was eating at Chelsea market afterwards. <3

Who's looking for treats. Tom or Gracie :) hehe 

We got free tickets to a local display downtown. Best part was that the museum exits into Chelsea market! 

Tom's in a short busy season right now, but I'm gearing up for our mini vacation this August. Our travels all over Southeast Asia really filled us up, so we're looking forward to staying local this year and keeping it simple <3 

Holy moly. Tom's parents have empty nest syndrome and keep buying puppies haha they swore this is the last one. 

So sad this show closed. It had so many impactful moments and the story and music were epic. So lucky to catch the last weekend of performances. 

We toyed around with the idea of moving outside the city when we are a family of three, so we're really soaking up the good times here. 

Tom and I looked at each other at the same moment on Wednesday and said, "pizza" haha --- so fun to have lunch in our home town at the restaurant where we initially met, where Tom worked for 8 years. pizza is just as good as it was before. we love a good meal out hehe and this place is actually designed after an old European ski lodge. How cute! <3

After a relaxing time home we're back in the city and ready for some amazing food and broadway. Lucky to live where we live <3

Uh oh. We're done season 4. What to do to pass the time now! 

We came home to our hometown and everyone thinks we're from Manhattan because of our license plates. It's making us laugh since we've spent the majority of our life here. The bagels are also surprisingly delicious! 

taking advantage of longer days and more sun with long walks downtown <3

Treating ourself to make the time pass by in a fun way until we are party of 3 <3 especially cool when u watch some of the cast on Netflix!!!

We're loving the outdoor freedom summer brings 💥 and the fun nights on our rooftop. Bring on the warmth! Sending you warm wishes wherever u r reading this from ❤️

Sometimes I equate the adoption journey to being a human yo-yo. It's a lot of up and down and you're often holding on by a thin string. The hope of a beautiful open adoption keeps us going each day, no matter how up and down we go. Sending you love, if you're on this journey with us <3

We had so much fun having a staycation in our hometown. While we love NYC, we are just Philly people inside out for the most part. I can't believe we missed out on a cheesesteak though. lol 

We got lucky!!! We lost the lottery so many times but when they sent the best available seats for 49$, we took a chance! What luck! Orchestra seats for an amazing show. Leviosa!!!

It's that time of year for road trips down the shore on the weekends <3 guess u can tell Tom and I have some Philly roots going on. Glad to be vaccinated and on the go while we wait for the car seat to not be as empty <3

Well, this was a chaotic weekend. We were excited to be considered by a birth mother for immediate placement, only to have our hopes dashed since she decided to parent last minute. 

Such a bittersweet moment. Of course, it's amazing she made the decision and felt it was possible to parent with her support system, it was a pretty gut-wrenching 12 hrs for all of the families considered. You try not to get excited, but in the back of your head, you of course think, "This is the one. The time has finally come."

I turned to our support group and appreciated the advice I received. Allow yourself to feel sad and disappointed for a day or so, and then move on and power ahead. This is the third time this situation has happened for us, and part of us will always wonder how it turned out for the little baby who had all of these extra people ready to love them. Here's hoping we have another opportunity soon <3

Our current agency works largely from emergency placements, which means traveling too far away can take you off the list for consideration.  We're always looking for fun places to explore in the great Northeast <3 keeping busy until we make a family of three <3

Sometimes, you just need a good Christmastime themed night out in the middle of spring :) We find this place to be so cozy... It's also pretty amusing when people take pictures or look through the window. We imagine this is what being in a zoo feels like. haha! Happy times at Rolf's, NYC. <3

Phew... Some days are certainly easier than others when it comes to the adoption journey, and I will say, since we've started working with Adoptions From the Heart, we have been feeling so hopeful. I'm just putting this out there for any other families who read this... We were often told to join waiting family support groups, but I have to say... It had the opposite effect on me and my husband than it was supposed to! We found the group to be really heavy, emotionally. While we could identify with some of the families and their grief or uneasiness, what helps us most is to enjoy each other and have other projects happening that we're interested in.

Next month, we're planning on taking a few road trips. And to be honest, my mind is just blown by how many places there are just here in the tri-state area that you would never think about! There's even an alpine rollercoaster! GO figure! I'm already trying to psych myself up into trying that. It really does look a little scary! HAHA- well, here's to enjoying each other, and hoping that we have a more complete version of a family soon <3

We have been keeping trips local lately, enjoying Broadway, and actually found a few hidden towns outside the city we probably would have never looked at before! It's been so fun enjoying the simple side of life... Time together, TV shows we missed, and good food! What a treat to enjoy each other's company while we wait for our lives to be forever changed. August will be one year since we returned to the books following the failure of our first match <3 Definitely feeling hopeful for good things to come <3

We loved checking out NYC's newest skyscraper... Going just before sunset was the right plan, because by the time the crowd thinned out and we got up there... Well, it was just right!

In one year, we've been profiled just two times... And the first time, we were chosen ❤️ As skeptical as we were, we went for it, and it was such a heartbreak when (through no fault of any person) the baby didn't survive birth. 

To receive a profiling opportunity brings such a rush of emotions. There's the sorrow for the parts of the story that you hear, the trauma that that is about to ensue, but there's also that small degree of hopefulness that things work out to "plan."

I guess what you learn through this entire journey is that there sometimes is no plan. Everyone is just trying to do their best with what they've been dealt. I always feel so emotional the day after these opportunities. Life is a miracle, and it's always interesting when you're reminded to treat it as such ⭐️ 

Tom and I are over the moon excited for our upcoming trip to California--- we're super-vaccinated, both with a booster, and we're finally ready to return to the skies! I'm super-nervous to fly, while Tom is a bit more cool and collected, so we actually make a great flying team :)

We're going to visit some family and close friends, but I'm hopeful that we can squeeze in some Disney time while we're there. Having worked at Disney (me), grew up going to Disney (both), and gotten engaged at Disney (in Japan)... I think you could definitely classify us as a Disney family! haha it's so depressing that it's become so expensive, but I think just walking around the parks feels therapeutic. Hoping that we can jump in a few short lines, even if it's only for Peter Pan's Flight.

In Japan they have a word for nostalgia... Friends use it when they're out together and talking about good times had by all. The word is "natsukashii" and I am feeling all the natsukashii feelings already. Disney here we come :) <3 Tom and Karen

Tom and I are home for the weekend to say an official goodbye to Grandmom. We were so lucky to have two up till now... I actually can't believe we're 38 and still have a Grandmom and Grandpa left, still! Focusing as much as we can on the positive however tricky it can be 🍀 And leaning on each other in the meantime. life is short, live it up ❤️

A lot has changed since Tom and I were kids celebrating he who shall not be named Day ha- we never stop wanting to learn and expand our horizons. 

This adoption journey thus far has done just that. Some days are harder than others, but we truly have learned a ton this past year. Seeing parts of the process that are broken, and seeing it occasionally work in the right way. We are so hopeful an open adoption finds us soon ❤️

We're coming up on our one-year of waiting... I hesitate to call it an anniversary, but that's kind of what it feels like. While we did have the experience of matching once, that never did come to fruition (rest in peace, little angel). It has been quite the journey so far, but one positive is the people we have connected with and all of the things we've learned, good and bad, along the way. Adoption, as they say, is truly a life-long journey, and we are finding that out more and more as we continue on the path. Learning more every day and sending positive vibes out there for anyone in the journey who needs them, it's not for the faint of heart <3

This process has been pretty intense for us so far having lost the baby we were initially matched with. Tom's parents bought not one, but two, King Charles Cavaliers, and we have been over the moon excited.  We drive home almost every other weekend just to get in some puppy snuggles. 

I grew up a cat person, and Tom always had dogs, but now I'm totally torn on what we should get!!! They're all so fun! I'm going to be sad when the puppies aren't puppies anymore, so it's time to make more fun to enjoy the now!!! :) 

NYC is bubbling ahain and after a really long year with more downs than ups, we are ready for it!!! The Christmas restaurant down the street opened, and it's Christmas all year long. 

I'm really just going for all the fun fairy lights :) Happy September... <3 Karen and Tom 

Sometimes you need a little lift when you get to the middle of the week, and this week s'mores are on the menu. 

Tom is the first person to make me an open-face s'more... and let me tell you, I'm now a convert! He uses our air fryer (which I also never thought of) and puts it on broil so the marshmallows get the light brown top!!! I know... He's gonna be a good dad :) But seriously... Did you grow up with them open-faced or sandwiched with grahams?! 

One of the best parts of living in the city is all the diversity that happens on any given weekend. We used to live in Japan, so anything Japanese is extremely close to our hearts. We wandered downtown to munch on some yummy Japanese food, and we found so many people speaking in Japanese and practicing with other people. I was shocked to see New Yorkers of all different colors in yukata and traditional Japanese attire. It was so cool!

In Japan, there's always a little pool set up where the kids go fishing with the nets that break... I think the goal is to catch a ball in the net without it breaking, and then you get a fish. Just one of the many moments throughout the day that we catch ourselves wondering when we'll get to bring a little one to a festival with us... Sometime <3

In just a matter of months, my husband and I went from 1/160 families in a pool to being matched for the first time with an expectant mother to feeling like full-blown parents in training. We took it day-by-day because, with adoption, anything can happen. 

We matched with the expectant mother early in her pregnancy. We spoke with her on the phone, forming a relationship, and gradually acquired more items for the baby as the due date approached. Of course, we weren’t going the traditional route with a baby shower. Instead, we told our closest network and places of employment because we were going to need off for an extended period of time. I ordered the bulk of the items within 90 days of the due date so things were eligible for return if she decided to parent, however unlikely it seemed. Despite seeming like we had one foot out the door, we were immersed in the process with our whole hearts. You have to be in it to win it in order to love someone else’s child. You have to go all-in. 

As the due date came closer, we chose a name, although we were ready to make that the middle name in case her mother had one in mind too. The birth mom drives the bus in this business. If you do the research, you begin to realize that many times, it’s best for the child if that is respected. In our case, this was a transracial adoption so there was tons of research going on about raising a strong, Black girl in the modern-day world, with ties to her roots, and beautiful, hydrated hair to fling around as she played on the playground. We were ready for the challenge in every sense of the word, more ready than we had imagined when we began the process a little under a year ago.

Most times, when you hear about a failed match it’s because the birth mother chose to parent. In our case, some random hospital we've never seen delivered a little girl without her heartbeat to a stress-filled room as they fought to save her mother. Because adoption is somewhat transactional, there’s not a typical reaction to a situation like this. Every situation is different. My first thought was about her mother. Was she okay? Did she die? I hope she’s not dead. We still want to adopt. Did she hold her baby girl? Did you say the baby had no heartbeat? 

The grief hits right away and then continues to hit. The ocean as a comparison comes to mind, where the waves are the grief and they just keep wrecking you with no beach in sight. When you finally find calm between swells, the ocean waves grow larger again and pummel you underwater. When you finally make it to the beach, you go home. At home, reaching for the butter for your toast, you collapse because it hits again. You manage to muster up the strength to butter and maybe even eat the toast, but of course, grief comes back again to sock you in the gut just so you don’t forget it’s there. It’s tricky like that. Never goes away, just gets buried a little deeper in time.

Though we never met the baby girl or her mother face-to-face, we will forever love her. We will always think about that mother who not only made one of the hardest decisions of her life, to make an adoption plan but then almost lost her own life in the process. While some may wonder how do you move on after this? How can you do this again? Grief-stricken and solemnly, we put one foot in front of the other each day because we will do this again and hopefully the ending will be a happier one.

In this home, Disney songs play. Happy hour doesn’t start before 5:00 PM (used to be 6:00 PM, but, hey, who’s judging?). Physical activity is a must, and leaning on each other is our lifeline. We’re finding that as we reassemble the pieces of our hearts that broke, there is still an overflow of love to give to someone else who needs it. For us, we are beyond ready to bring a tiny person into our home. This particular story will always hold a space in our hearts, our minds, and our souls. It’s now a part of us. A baby girl so loved not only by the family with her but loved fiercely by so many others she never even met.

Entering into the adoption process, it helps to be as open as possible. This can sometimes mean adopting transracially. We have been learning so much about transracial adoption throughout our journey, specifically adopting Black children as White people, and it's a topic that's incredibly important to dive into headfirst. I came across this op ed today on Instagram and thought it was incredibly informative.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/04/05/black-woman-raised-by-white-parents-advice-potential-adopters/?tid=pm_opinions_pop

We are lucky enough to live in a diverse community, so we won't have to go far to seek out hair salons, churches, or community groups, et cetera, but for some adoptive families this can really require a lot of effort. It is all necessary, of course, and it will only help make life easier for all parties involved. It's so important to know your history, your roots, and your heritage. Both Tom and I have mixed-race extended families, but there is always so much to learn.

A few weeks ago we watched Closure on Amazon Prime. This documentary follows Angela Tucker's journey to find her birth family. It's such a must-watch for anyone in our shoes. She's full of information and connections to the transracial adoptee world. She is so passionate and willing to share her experiences, and one of the best ways to learn more is to hear stories first-hand. Loving the journey we're on... <3 Karen and Tom

As a friend once called themselves, I consider myself an introverted extrovert. I love to hole up at home with Tom, but I can very easily put myself out there and network like a champ. We have been "waiting" and home study approved for almost exactly four months. While it would be great to just sit back and coast with our agency in charge, it was impressed upon us that casting a wider net is never a bad idea. This is all part of the work. Because nothing is for free, nor should it be. When it comes to adoption, there is so much education, learning, un-learning, and work to be done. I've never been one to sit idle, so this website is our attempt at expanding our search for our 3rd piece to our family puzzle.

In just 24 hours after chats, Tom and I started a private website. I learned about a little something from a friend called Google Webmaster. Webmaster helps the site potentially gain some more traffic (or traffic to begin with haha). The way I came about this friend was through my Instagram during Tom and my time abroad. It's bizarre where you find help sometimes. It comes from the strangest of places. There have been a number of times just this week, where I only made it through some muddy times because of the kindness of strangers somehow connected to my network.

I've noticed that most encounters like this, while seemingly coincidental, maybe aren't. There are signs everywhere if we look for them and are open to their existence. My hope, and Tom's too, is that this search isn't in vain. We have so much love to give to a child, and we hope that this work takes us to the right place. We will always work to love, become better, and be of service to others. <3 Love, T&K

I wasn't sure what to write here, but I'm a big supporter of The Secret and the Laws of Attraction. I figured it couldn't hurt to put the vibes out here and see what might happen :)

We have always known that we were going to adopt... it was just a question of when. We were living abroad for the better portion of this previous decade, and when we started our transition home, we discovered our agency through a random podcast I found one-day "surfing" the web. This podcast referred me to New York Adoption Lawyer, and he, in turn, referred us to the very first agency we found that we ended up using for this process.

It seemed like quite a serendipitous way to begin this journey, so we strapped our seatbelts on and went ahead for the ride! 

Adoption is a sticky subject. For adoptive parents, it's mostly a happy time. For birth mothers, it is beyond difficult and heartbreaking in a way we can never imagine. We never dealt with infertility or any of the other more common situations that may lead a couple towards adoption. We have always felt strongly about the amount of children needing a home, whether they be unborn or existing on the planet already. After volunteering at an orphanage in Japan, our fate was only more sealed. We had to adopt. 

When COVID struck, our lives took a momentary pause. I lost most of my jobs since I worked in gyms, and we were forced to transition back to the United States early to avoid being locked out of the country if things were to go any more south than they already had. Amidst the chaos, we began the adoption process. It gave us a positive outlet for our energy in such a bizarre time. And here we are now, about to close out 2020 and officially become a family in waiting. It is a medley of feelings from happiness, to sadness, to excitement, and dread. There are so many stories that will come from this one journey we have begun, and we are so curious to see what they might be.

The emotions are running high, which seems to be a theme for 2020. Sending anyone who reads this love and light. Stay strong and stay your course, whatever it may be.